I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
