My Higher Power is John Stamos
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
