Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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