Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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