Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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