then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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