Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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