i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
