Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize