you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
