Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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