Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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