her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
