If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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