she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
