Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize