from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize