I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
