shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He felt like a one man threesome
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
