I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
honey bunches of taint.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
