It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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