you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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