well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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