God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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