help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
