My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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