Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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