Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
