so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
