The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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