I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize