If that was your dad, he is hot
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
