I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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