Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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