Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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