gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
