it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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