I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
