Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
