Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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