You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
