Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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