In the future we'll all be gay
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
where are my eyebrows?
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