six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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