Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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