Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize