i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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