he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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