Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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