you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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