you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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