Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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