Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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