I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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