You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
