Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
