I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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